Well hello you lovely folk…

So I have finally got around to making an actual real life blog. I know you are all thrilled, I can tell.

Let eat me introduce myself. My name is Laura, Lauz, Swamps, divorce… What ever you want to call me…

This is my face. I take a well filtered selfie. I’m much less attractive in real life ha



Ive been meaning to write a blog for some time as I actual proper enjoy putting fingertip to iPad, or keyboard. I would say paper but that’s proper vintage now innit.

I’m 26. I’ve crammed a lot in over my 26 years.

I’ve owned 15 pets the weirder the better, one house, one husband and subsequently squeezed in one divorce…

I make the most ridiculous rash decisions.. I once had a boob job because someone rang me and said “want one?” And I was just like yeah why not.

If you tell me I can’t have something I want it harder.

I will ask 3 people’s opinion before every decision that I make, and ignore all advice they gave me anyway.

I love to cook.

I love cute humans.

I hate surprises but like the sentiment of them.

I have naturally different coloured eyes, I was probably destined to be weird.

I can lick my own elbow. Can you?

I nip out to get tattoos like most people nip out for a loaf of bread.

I have loads of favourites – people, food, places, faces.

I currently sleep about 3 hours a night.

Despite many a broken heart, I wear my heart of my sleeve and I will always be a totally open book.

I will ALWAYS tell you the truth even if it isn’t what you want to hear.

My absolute best friend is definitely my dog. Her name is Bettë and she is literally the best thing I ever bought.


I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to.

Sometimes my mental health can be questionable and I’m really not embarrassed to hide it.

I like make up and changing my hair, and I have had some VERY interesting phases one of which gained me the nickname shit eyes and let me tell you they were shit.

If I’m honest, I don’t know what i’ll write about I am totally open to suggestion. So here’s to the unexpected.

I guess it’ll probably be about what I’ve been up to, or how not mentally stable I feel this week – you know the usual. Or I may even talk about the hot topic of the week amongst my pals without naming any names of course.

So anyway, I just thought I’d better start somewhere so…hello and here goes.



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